Sunday, February 26, 2012

Insecurity: Part 2

        I am not sure if it is just me, but it seems many times in my life I find myself swinging from one extreme to another.  Almost like I notice that something in my life needs to be corrected, but in an effort to fix it, I swing to the opposite extreme, and once again find myself in error. 
Please tell me it isn't just me.

       I see this in my mind like a swinging pendulum (with security and insecurity on opposite sides).  What is most frustrating is this is an area of my life I have felt healed and set free from, just to find I only had half the answer.  

      Now that I have graduated from Bible college, have studied and have lived (and survived!) a God adventure, I have plenty to say and do.  I can lead bible studies with my eyes closed, lead worship without even blinking, and have so much I want to encourage others with.  I think to myself, THIS is security.  But wait.  They didn't call on me.  They didn't ask my opinion.  They didn't ask for my deep and meaningful revelation.  How dare they.  And there it is again.  Insecurity.   So masked this time that I thought it was security.  Sneaky.


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