Friday, July 31, 2009

How the Story Began...

Our Family & Friends,

Josh and I have been on very different journeys over the last year; which have ended up at the same place, and for us, that can only mean God. Starting in February 2008 God has been preparing our hearts for ministry. I fought it for a long time (sort of a put my fingers in my ears and hum kind of fighting.) But God is patient and incredibly loving, and he gently pulled me out of my fears. My fear of losing control, my insecurities, and my crippling fear of failure.

Through a long and strange list of events, Josh became interested in a teacher: Andrew Wommack of “Andrew Wommack Ministries” based out of Colorado Springs. His teachings have really encouraged and taught Josh and me things that have been life-changing. Josh found out that Andrew had a bible college “Charis Bible College” in Colorado Springs, and mentioned that it would be great to go. I was not hearing that! We had just purchased a home in Spring Hill, I loved our church- Bethel in Franklin, loved Caleb’s school and I was comfortably settled. It was not in my plan to go anywhere! However, somewhere REALLY deep down, I thought Josh might be right- we are supposed to go… I got really upset and stormed upstairs. I remember crying and having a complete pity party. My thoughts were going something like this- “God, why are you doing this to me?!”- “I love my house, I don’t want to leave!”- “Why are you always picking on me?!” Awful, isn’t it? Then the very gentle, loving voice of God said to my spirit “Carla, I can give you another house. There are lots of houses. What would you rather have: stuff or fulfill your purpose on this earth?” Ouch…

In September, Andrew Wommack came to Johnson City, TN. Josh was so excited he could barely contain himself. He wanted me to go along too, but we couldn’t find childcare, so I was going to stay home. I really felt God pressing me to go along too- so we loaded up the whole crew and drive 4 ½ hours to Johnson City. I don’t know if you are familiar with Johnson City, but it is in the middle of nowhere…

We arrived Saturday evening to the service. Andrew spoke about Elijah and how he did not come from a line of prophets, and wasn’t from anywhere special. But God gave him a word and he obeyed. God sent him to the king, the husband of Jezebel- who was killing the Lord’s prophets. Elijah obeyed, and God only told him step one! I am the kind of person that needs to see the whole picture. When God asks me to do something, I need to know the outcome before I act. That is not what Elijah did. He went and told the king there would be a drought. After Elijah obeyed step one, God told him step two: go to the stream, to a place I will send the ravens to bring you bread and flesh. God provided for Elijah- but Elijah’s provision was where God told him to go.

Andrew then talked about people sitting there in the service, God had given them a word, but they were not obeying. I felt like a neon sign lit up right above my head saying “HERE SHE IS!” Andrew went on to say, these people weren’t obeying because they were afraid of what their family would think of them, that they didn’t come from anything special, and that they were afraid God would let them down (BINGO). I didn’t trust God. I felt He had let me down in the past and I was so jaded from the experience that my heart was hardened toward Him. When Andrew was done speaking he asked those people who were being disobedient to stand, he was going to pray for us. It took Andrew prompting 3 times before I finally gave in and stood up. The second that I did, I felt God’s pleasure with me, and I saw a very clear picture in my minds eye of my family in Colorado.

My focus was off, I didn’t trust God to do anything for me, even give me another house. But through teachings, books, and God revealing himself to me in personal ways I began to understand His love for me. And where does trust come from? It comes from love. If you do not understand how much you are loved, you cannot possibly trust. But God has revealed himself to Josh and I- we are GREATLY loved. And when I got a revelation of that love (just scratching the surface) I feel like I can/will do anything. I will let go of my dream house, my roots in a city, even my control for that kind of love.

So, we are off…to a great adventure… I have no idea what is coming, and I must admit, I am afraid. But when I meditate on the love that I have experienced- all my fears seem to just melt. We greatly covet your prayers on: finding the perfect house in Colorado and finding the job(s) God has for us...Here we go…love, carla & josh