What would people think when they hear that I'm a Jesus Freak?
What will people do when they find that it's true?
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus Freak.
There is no disguising the truth.
There are so many times I feel like just a visitor in this world. Like I belong somewhere else, and I am navigating through this foreign world trying to reach the place I am made for.
I see God in everything. I see him in the enormity of the planets and their endless imperfection, to the complexity of a tiny feather. I see his work when I watch nature shows with the sole purpose of disproving his existence. He is an extravagant creator, incredible thinker, and his imagination is unmatched. I pour myself over scriptures and marvel at the depth and intricacy of his plan for humanity. I long to be with him. He is my everything, I am in love.
I am reminded of a quote:
"We are all fools in love."
-Charlotte Lucas (Pride & Prejudice)
But this love goes beyond foolishness. This does not compare to earthly romance. No man could ever live up to what is obtained from this God-relationship, none should even try. My heart is secure, intact, never to be broken by this perfect Being that has moved heaven and earth to never leave me. I think of the martyrs and the inspiration I get from reading about them. Those that caught the vision of this love so deeply that they would die for it. Jesus Freaks indeed. This is more than a whimsy emotion. It is a knowing. A revelation you can hardly explain to anyone that has yet to experience it.
And if Jesus felt like an outsider, why do we think it will be different for us?
"He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him."
Not to say there are not wonderful pleasures obtained in this most foreign of worlds. When I look into my children's eyes, I am overwhelmed. And Josh, my perfect partner in this alien planet. How thankful I am that God has given me an accomplice in this crazy adventure. I may even say that he rivals me as a Jesus Freak. In his endless pursuit of Truth, no matter man's objections.
So, my final thought is this: that I love this planet, but I am not of it. I belong to a different kingdom. I am on loan. And how my heart longs to enter the blessed place that is free of fear, doubt, struggle and strife. Ahhh, my heart desires that! But until that day... Long live the Freak.